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It is incredible how many people lose themselves in the process of trying to please others. It is okay to make people happy, but when you start to second guess how others are feeling, or take their feelings on as though they are your own, it becomes a problem. A large part of worrying about what others think stems from fear of getting into trouble or upsetting others.
Unfortunately a by-product of being a nice person can result in becoming a people-pleaser. This sounds nice on one level, but it can cause a great deal of stress when it comes at the sacrifice of your needs and desires. Further, when you push your desires away in order to please people resentment and guilt are often not far behind.
WORRYING TOO MUCH IN THE PLACE OF WORK AS AN EMPLOYEE
Many employees spend countless hours per day worrying about whether or not the boss likes them and even whether or not they will be fired. This fear is partly driven by an ever changing economy and regular news of company closures and downsizing. However, the major driver of this fear is internal insecurity as a result of personalizing work.
One of the most common human fears is failure and at work failure can be grounds for dismissal. Whilst this fear can be valid, it is a fear that is usually irrational as most people are working at a high standard consistent with their high work ethic. The nature of working for someone else leaves one exposed to external circumstances, so it’s important to recognize that all you can do is try your best at work and ensure you treat it like a business, rather than your friend.
Company downsizing and cutting staff is a perfect example of where Senior Management have to draw the line between work and emotions. The people in charge of firing large quantities of staff must separate the work from emotion in order to think strategically about which staff should be let go. Whilst being friends with your boss may protect you for a while, when it comes to major decisions like these, companies look at productivity and cost savings. So, once again all you can do from a professional standpoint is think regularly about how your contribution at work impacts on the business and don’t allow yourself to be dragged down by negative personalities in the workplace.
As an employee you must think of work as a business and your performance as part of this business. Your personal life is completely separate. The friendships you develop at work have nothing to do with your work (except with respect to forming networks to assist with daily tasks and potential future jobs). They mainly make your day to day life more pleasant and really form part of your personal life – not your professional life.
DEALING WITH HAVING A PEOPLE-PLEASING HABIT
In order to change automatic reactions and habits it’s important to consciously recognize the relationships that tend to bring on people-pleasing behavior and then to approach every new interaction with the resolve to be true to yourself and not simply agree with others, so as not to offend them. For instance, if you are a parent and you have a belief about how children should be put to sleep (which is in complete opposition to a friend’s) it would be much healthier for you to acknowledge your friend’s belief and still raise your personal views. What most people do is say nothing (or agree) with opposing beliefs and then end up feeling angry and offended, rather than addressing the issue first hand. In doing so, the peace may have been kept – but at what cost to your soul and self-esteem?
Most of us have an innate desire to be liked, so we often go out of our way to make others happy and to keep the peace. However, this does not have to come at the cost of yourself – in other words – you don’t have to lose yourself in relationships in order to be happy. By relaxing with who you are and accepting that your true friends will like you for who you really are – not the mirror image on themselves you will feel much more comfortable and less exhausted as a result of being the real you, rather than the people pleaser you are.
So, enjoy your relationships at work and start each day with a mind-set of success, achievement and contribution to the greater good of your company’s needs. After all, negative people eventually move on and all the work you do will hold you in great stead for new and exciting professional positions in the future. No one is built to worry naturally, but with a few experiences insecurity sets in and a worrying habit is developed. As a means of getting out of the pit of worrying sign up with our habit tracker http://mehditoozhy.com/focus-success-l/. The habit tracker will help you develop better habits that will help you become more productive in the future.
“Determination and hard work almost always trumps talent.” The saying is almost there is to know about the power of deep desire. Success can be very elusive and in most cases having the mere skill to bring it home will not cut it. Determination and hard work on the other hand are very important requirements in achieving success. Wanting success goes deeper than fancy; the deep desire to succeed is driven from enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the trait that makes you endure, persevere and be persistent in chasing your success. It acts on you like alcohol; this deep desire blinds you to the loud negative cries that try to pull you down and always sets you on the path to achieving your success.
In chasing success, if you are driven by such deep desires the success that eludes you will be a matter of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’. Breaking this down to the everyday life, we all want that fat pay check, the big house, and even the dream girl. Desire overwhelms people with an insatiable appetite to take action.
FOUR STEPS TO INCREASE YOUR DESIRE TO SUCCEED
KNOW YOUR GOAL INSIDE OUT: Follow the subject of your desire closely, read newsletters, magazines, follow experts within the field, be about your desires like you possessed them already. It helps to know every tiny detail there is to know about your goals; this increases your interest and consequently desire to get that success.
KEEP YOUR DREAMS IN SIGHT: When your dreams begin to seem bleak and distant remind yourself why you started the race. Recount the drive behind the dream, the rewards there are, the better life to come and mostly the happiness of achieving your heart desires. This will keep you taking bold steps towards achieving your goals with the mind-set that the end will be worth it.
LOOK FORWARD TO THE REWARDS: Keep in mind the sacrifices and pains it will take to achieve your goals, but it is the rewards that you stand to reap that will fuel your desire to succeed. Keeping your potential rewards at the back of your mind will have you working harder than you know you can.
WATCH THE PROS DO IT: Whatever your area of interest is chances are there are pros that have succeeded in that line of interest. You may not intend to do it the same way, but watching the pros that did it will set you right on the path to follow.
PUTTING YOUR DESIRES TO WORK: You need to put that goal, dream or desire to the front of your mind and start working on it now! It doesn’t matter who we are, millionaire, celebrity or just your average Joe/Jane living in an ordinary house. We all have obstacles and challenges in our everyday lives. It’s what we do with those challenges that either allow us to succeed or fail.
SUCCESS STORY TO CONSIDER
Think of it like this. When you were a child and you were learning how to ride a bike. You probably fell off a dozen times before you were actually able to make it down the street without mom holding on to the back. Yes you might have felt disappointed the first hundred times you tried and failed.
Your life is yours and it’s what you make of it. Only you can determine the outcome. While everyone will not become millionaires or become celebrities, having great success in life does not necessarily mean you must be rich in monetary terms. Being happy with your life and always striving for the best, trying your hardest to full fill your dreams is what makes your life rich.
You might have even given up for a little while. But more than likely at some point in time you got back on that bike. You tried again and you achieved your goal. What happened after you achieved the goal? It only got better. Eventually you were able to ride with one hand, then no hands. You kept on trying. You kept on improving. Just because you could not ride that bike at first, you didn’t throw it away and replace it with another bike. There was nothing wrong with that bike. It just took a little will power and a little work on your part to make it happen.
Having the desire to succeed is not easy to come by. It is a habit that you cultivate, nourish and care for overtime. Speaking of habits, you have the option to sign up with our free habit tracker via the link http://mehditoozhy.com/focus-success-l/.
If success was a meal it would be the most tasty, healthy and delicate meal with every positive nutrient to gain from it. Success comes in different levels and scales but it is arguably the most satisfying feeling there is when attained. Sadly, the road to attaining success is not always as satisfying as success; it takes time, criticism, loss on different levels, hard work and mostly endurance and perseverance to attain success, because it does not always come just on the first try.
In fact, failure so often occurs on the road to success that it is best to view failure as part of the means of attaining success. Failure is best defined as a temporary place of schooling, experience and learning when you don’t get what you aim for. In this place you will be molded and prepared to take several shots at attaining success, for every time you try and you don’t succeed it doesn’t spell failure it spells you are not ready enough. With perseverance and continued improvement you will eventually get success if you don’t then it only means you have more work to do and counting the number of individuals who have made it to success you’ll see very little or nobody made tangible success without being in the temporary zone of failure.
SUCCESS STORIES TO CONSIDER
The following list features individuals who are currently successful because they didn’t accept failure, they turned it around and now they are on this list:
OPRAH WINFREY: Currently she is one of the few billionaires in the world and she owns a really incredible TV channel. Oprah got fired from her first TV gig as an anchor, and here she is a billionaire from the TV business. Her quote about failure reads, “There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”
STEVEN SPIELBERG: Steven Spielberg is currently one of the most illustrious names in the movie industry. He is a talented producer and director, one of his works included directing the third part of the famous Indiana Jones film. As a young lad he couldn’t make it into the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts, but now he’s grossed about $9 billion from the movie industry, such irony.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: It will be sot of impossible to make up a list of successful persons who encountered failure and leave Abraham Lincoln out. He faced failure on numerous counts, going to war as a captain and returning as a mere private and failing severely in numerous business attempts. He kept on going and when he found himself with political ambitions he rode those ambitions right to the top and eventually became President of the United States.
FOUR TRAITS YOU CAN BREED TO HELP YOU TURN AROUND FAILURE
PERSEVERANCE: This is your ability to keep pushing even when you have failed before, sometimes you might need to knock louder to have the door of success open up to you but with perseverance you need to go back, tweak your plan and come back to knock. If you are rejected repeat the process and knock louder every time you come back.
ENDURANCE: Sometimes your success is blocked by a few temporary factors like a corrupt boss, inadequate funding, loss of a loved one, and more. In situations like this you’ll probably be able to smell the success but you are feeling too disgusted to carry on. Breeding enough endurance will help you wait just that little bit more to take your victory.
INNOVATION: In this case you have the power to get out of your state of failure by being creative and improving on what you had to offer before. Here you have all the right and ability to facilitate your success so sit down (or sit up) and wow the judges and take your success.
A POSITIVE AND INDEPENDENT MENTALITY: It is really tedious even near impossible to attain success all by yourself, but to get over failures and move on quickly you need to be able to anticipate your success even when only you can see it.
Truth is if your ambitions, goals and dreams are really big chances are they are not going to come easy because big dreams are not custom made, you have to figure them out and ride the storm till you achieve success, and that is how successful people are made in the end.
Obviously success is attainable when you breed positive habits, you know what they are now check out our habit tracker http://mehditoozhy.com/focus-success-l/ to help you improve, reach goals faster, change habits, etc.
The most satisfying feeling in life is encountered by accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves each day, this way you can see and measure your progress, and be happy about it or not. It is a super positive move to chop your bug dreams and ambitions into small daily goals but how do you make sure you stay on track at the end of every day? The answer is accountability; this 14 alphabet word simply means the act of being responsible for one’s actions, an oversight definition of responsibility. In a bid to meet the goals you set out to achieve accountability can make all the difference; being engaged in some sort of accountability program where you have to make and receive daily reports and feedback respectively can keep you on your toes and on the track to achieving the bigger goal.
Accountability can come in various forms; if you have developed a much disciplined mentality you can be accountable to yourself. A lot of people engage in accountability keeping track of their daily progress on some smartphone applications, that works too but the most effective form of accountability is having an individual (preferably strict with no chills) to report your progress to, sort of like a coach or mentor. People don’t fail to reach their goals because they don’t have goals, everyone has goals but some people fail due to lack of motivation, irresponsibility, lack of enthusiasm, and a couple more that can be rectified by engaging in accountability.
QUICK WAYS TO GET INTO ACCOUNTABILITY
Using a mentor or coach: Having a to be accountable to a mentor or coach could be the end of your complacency; remember a mentor is a role model whom you admire and aspire to become, he is sort of your hero and having to be accountable to a mentor will push you to achieve your goals because you don’t want to disappoint your hero. A coach on the other hand will be one of similar experience and skill as the mentor but a little bit stricter. Having one or two of them will keep you at your accountable best.
Personal Accountability: This works for highly disciplined and motivated individuals mostly; keep a record of the goals you achieve as you gear towards your bigger goal. Create something like a log book for each day; it will be a lot of push in achieving your goals knowing you have to fill in something tangible for each day.
Keep purpose cliques: Just like in school where a couple of smart kids pair up to study and prepare for tests together the same method can be employed in achieving goals in life. For example, in cases of health you can find you a workout buddy, someone who isn’t so much of a friend. There is always a strange motivation to want to behave in front of strangers, now having to be accountable to one will certainly keep you on your toes. It is important to let your purpose partner ask about your progress and criticize you when necessary, and it is important that you are forthcoming with sincere answers.
BENEFITS OF BEING ACCOUNTABLE
- Improves your performance: Having to work with a coach or a mentor will afford you the luxury of having someone who lets you in on better means of going about your goals and when all the kinks have been smoothed out you will have a well-oiled system of going about achieving your goals.
- Hands stay on deck: As you strive to achieve your goals things are going to come up on the sides, sometimes even the temptation of taking a break and fooling yourself that you deserve it. However, having a serious accountability engagement might just be what you need to fight off these distractions and just about stay on track.
- Stay responsible: At first accountability will be tough on you, but just keep going and in no time you’ll find your new way of life has become a part of you, and even after achieving your goals you’ll fancy living in your new found tradition of efficiency.
- Measure your success: When you report to your accountability program maybe a checklist, or to a coach or mentor and you get a positive feedback, you can afford to move forward knowing just how much you have accomplished.
- Positive criticism: It is hard to put “positive” and “criticism” in a short sentence but with accountability you can; having to report to a mentor or coach can help you kill those voices in your head telling you “you can’t make it” and let your coach or mentor tell you how you can get better instead.
For accountability to be at its effective best you have to break your big goals down into smaller daily achievable goals, and as a head start to achieving these daily goals we present you with a means of starting your accountability campaign by signing up for our free habit tracker campaign via http://mehditoozhy.com/focus-success-l/. You can talk accountability all you want but in the end if you don’t want it bad enough success won’t come to you.
The problems with ADHD include: lack of attention, low academic performance, not listening, not following instructions, no organizational skills, and procrastination. They also can’t relax and have to move all the time.
So how do parents help?
- Believe in your child.
- Self-educate them. Take care of their education. Academic performance is not the only sign of intelligence. Creative and imagination can help them be successful.
An example is Thomas Edison. He had ADHD and could not hear. When he was a child, school rejected him. His mom took charge and believed in him. She self-educated him and trained him to become a researcher. She exposed him to many subjects. She had a reward system in place. As a result, at age of 12 he was confident, a researcher, and open-minded because of exposure to a lot of information.
Another example is Theodore Roosevelt. He had signs of ADHD and ashtma. Has parents took charge and self-educated him. His parents believed in him and self-educated him.
So know that when a child is daydreaming they may have strong imaginations. Believe in them and creative a bond with them and they will be strong and confident.
Be sure to:
- Expose to a wide variety of subjects.
- Direct their energy toward their passions.
- Train them to be a researcher. Get them to earn the knowledge.
- Reward them for everything they do. Encourage the to achieve bigger steps.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
This blog is about how to set goals in a way so you can achieve them.Now when it comes to goal setting there are two important questions that you can ask yourself. One is what is stopping you from achieving your goal? Next is: What can you do to reach your goal?
In this blog post you’ll learn how to use the power of mind to be motivated in pursuing of your happiness.
There are two questions you can ask yourself when you’re talking about life mission, purpose and happiness.
Have you found your life mission or purpose?
One of the indicator of having a life purpose is:
When you wake up in the morning is your energy up or is it down? When you wake up in the morning do you look forward to the day or do you feel like not doing anything?
Are you proud of yourself? Are you proud of the job you do?
What gives you energy? When you work, do you get energy or do you give energy? If you do an activity and it energizes, you that is a good sign of a good life mission.
The timeless. When Albert Einstein developed his theory he didn’t feel how time was passing and he would you lose track of time.That’s a good indication of what you are doing is your purpose or mission because you are so joyful in what you do.
Childlike joy. When you were kid the activities you did were just pure joy. If you have that same joy in your job as an adult, that’s also a good indication of your life purpose.
The other point I want to bring out is Reverse Planning. Let’s fast forward in time and you are 90 years old. If you look back, did you have the kind of family you wanted. The kind of job? Did you accomplish what you wanted and have the type of friends you wanted? If you can look back and plan your life now, does it fit in line with your purpose? These are pretty good indicators of what your purpose or mission would be in life. So reverse planning a good technique.
It is also important to give the reasoning behind what you do. The reason behind this was at times your life mission and the purpose can seem difficult but the reason behind so important and so significant that it makes you feel great joy. So the reason in what you do can also be your life purpose. I connect happiness with purpose. These are connected to each other so if you have life purpose, you have happiness and if you have happiness you have life purpose. I’m going to show you how they are connected.
The second question that you could ask yourself is…
Could you honestly say you are happy? Are you happy in what you do?
What it means to be happy differs from person to person.
Brainstorm! Sit down in a quiet room with your friends or alone and write down ideas. You will have a kind of general idea of what it is that makes you happy.
Inner State. The condition of your inner self inside you – is it joyful, is it sad? Do you feel anger? When you feel deep inside of you, joy is connected to your happiness. Check with our inner self and check your state of mind. Is there joy, sadness, or anger.
Power of your Mind. This is a tool that you have and it’s available in your mind and you can use it to bring happiness to you. I want to give a simple example because you know when we talk about happiness it’s also how we look at things, the perspective of things. Let’s say it’s a rainy day and you feel sad. It’s cloudy, it’s rainy and if you look at this from this point of view plants and animals they need water and it brings them life. The rain you see that’s coming down gives life to animals, planets and to earth so that in a sense is joyful…it’s beautiful. So you can change your review on it and see the positive sides of it and that can bring you joy. Sometimes materialistic things seems to bring joy, seems to bring happiness but if you can train yourself to harness the power of your mind you can view things in a very positive way and that can bring calmness and happiness to you.
Goal Setting. Because goal setting gives direction and that direction brings comfort and security because you know where you are going. That is a good feeling and it is connected to happiness.
Time. According to an American Time survey, 33 percent of our time is spent sleeping and 33 percent is at work. After sleeping, the workplace is the most important part of your life. Choose work wisely. Great minds like Edison, Einstein, Picasso all left great joy and love in their work. It brought them great happiness and joy.
Small Steps. When one sets a goal, there are many steps to take. If you can break down these steps into smaller steps, this is a goal. By taking as many steps you can get to your goal and that itself is a comfort because sometimes the goal itself can be you know far away and it makes you feel and it makes yourself incapable of reaching it. By following this model it will give you comfort that you need on your way to achieving your goal and that’s connected to happiness. Breaking down big steps to small steps will bring happiness to you also on your way to reaching your goal.
Be Grateful. You know being grateful meaning making a thank you list, a grateful list and putting the items like family, friends, education and health on the list is important. We human don’t look at the things that we have. So when you sit down and say okay you know I have these things and I am grateful for it, one of the benefits is that it brings you comfort and joy. It warms you up when on your way to achieve your goals. So a thank you list is a very good way of bringing happiness to you in the moment when you face difficulty.
Perspective. Let’s take a perspective on the things around us. This is you, you live on earth and the earth in the solar system and that solar system is in a galaxy milky way and that galaxy is in a universe…huge universe…vast universe. So we are really insignificant and small when you are looking at this planet compared to the sun. I know there are estimated to be around 100-400 billion stars in one galaxy and around 50 billion planets in this galaxy. And we are just one of the 2 hundred billion galaxies that’s out there, so if you look at it and you’re in little tiny dot that’s called earth, beautiful earth. Our purpose is try to understand what’s out there and to me we are small but we are significant when we look at the whole picture trying to make sense of it all. So that’s to me life purpose.
What happens in our mind when we set goals, why use the power of our imagination, how to overcome challenges, how great minds used their imagination, how one feels when they set goals and how to achieve goals faster, are just some of the questions we have, when it`s coming to goal setting.
How were my eating habits last year?
When one asks questions one begins to search for answers. So how were your eating habits last year. Additional questions to ask yourself are:
Are you consuming fresh vegetables? Ask yourself what you are putting in your body? Is it nutritious? So once one has this mindset you begin to ask questions. Once you have this diagram in your mind it helps you to have a fit and healthy body.
Are you exercising regularly? Do you walk to school or work? To you take the stairs or the escalator?
Are you sleeping well? When we sleep our bodies repair themselves so sleep is needed to be fit. Sleep is important. We need sleep to be efficient during the day or the day is wasted.
Are you drinking enough water? Eighty-five percent of our brain consists of water. Water is important to fight against mood swings and to keep us health to think clearly. But don’t drink just when you are thirsty. Drink all the time. It’s free and available everywhere. Once you drink enough water your brain cells start communicating better.
Did you feel physically fit doing your daily work? How do you feel during the day? If one is fit, you will begin to ask questions and feel better.
How did you treat people around you?
If one treats others well, it is good karma. If one puts good out into the world, they will get good back. Your main responsibility is to do good things, decent things and you will get it back sooner or later. You are not responsible for the reaction of other people so focus on yourself. Next, I ask you:
How is your relationship with your spouse/girlfriend? So ask yourself, how did I treat my spouse? Is it a good relationship?
Has your relationship with your family been healthy? Family is the backbone of life. Ask yourself did I treat them? What do I want my relationship to be this next year? What can I do to be better this year? Who is your support group when you are in crisis. One needs this to succeed. This is vital to a good foundation.
How are your relationships with friends? Your friends are a part of your support system. It’s important to evaluate the relationships. Were they helpful to you? Do you share interests? I dedicated a chapter of my book, Keys to Success at School and Beyond, to friends and competition. They help shape your success. Ask yourself how they affect you? How do you affect them? A good friend helps keep your life in harmony.
Did you get to know people from all different background? This is diversity. Part of intelligence building includes knowing people from diverse backgrounds. It helps develop your personal growth. One can learn a lot from others with different backgrounds. It is enriching. I have been living in many different countries all of my life and it has helped me tremendously. It teaches you a different perspective and gives you a more open mind. They had great influence on me as a person.
Ask yourself, did I buy things I need not need?
Pay attention to need. Did I buy things I didn’t need? Albert Einstein said if you can’t say it simply that means you’ll never understand it. One needs to live simply and they will gain peace. One does not need useless things in their life. One just needs to live on a day-to-day basis. When you buy things that is based on a want or junk, this induces stress because you are buying something you don’t need. So keep this mind: for peace embrace things you use on a daily basis and for stress embrace junk and useless things. Once you have this diagram in mind when you go shopping, use it to make a decision that will be helpful to you. It important you not waste resources.
Did you achieve your desired income level? Once you ask this question you begin to think “How’s my path?” Is this the correct path? What can I do to be more successful? We can can compare our income to last year’s and see how’s it going to be and what can I do about it?
Have you built the habit of spending less than you earn? If you exceed your budget keep this in mind so you don’t have financial stress.
Has your career progressed? Are you going to do to make more progress in your career this year? Comparing yourself to last year can help you to see what can you do better this year. What do you need to do? Don’t compare yourself to others. Because once you begin to compare yourself with other people, they have different path in life.
What was my life’s purpose last year?
Life purpose is important. Ask yourself what did I do last year in my life and what am I going to do this year? Include your job and family. Is your career something that energizes you? You know is it something that energies you? Is it something that makes you feel happy?
Have you found your life’s mission?
This actually bringing meaning to what you do and the activity that you do. Does it excited you? You have a purpose on this planet and each one of us is unique. You need to search within you to find this mission. I developed a chapter about this in my book here. I write about the activities that make you feel energized. There are some exercises in it that can be helpful to you.
Can you honestly say you are happy?
Are you happy with what you do? This goes back to the mission and doing the things that energize you, that make you feel good.. Everyone has a purpose inside himself or herself and it’s just a matter of finding it. These questions enable one to look for answers. Look for this treasure within you that will give you meaning, will give you purpose and will make you happy. After this seminar or this workshop you will go back and do some thinking in your private time and you will begin to find your answers.
Have you built the necessary habits for spiritual growth?
Depending on your faith, your spiritual growth takes different paths. Do you have the habits growing this, working on it? What will bring well being and meaning to your life. It could be the connection to the whole universe that you celebrate. Maybe from your faith? This work has to be done by only you.
These are the questions that will help one reflect on past year. Now, I want to mention my book. It is called Keys to Success at School and Beyond. It is about reaching your goals father and in an easier way. In addition to this book, I have one-one-one counseling sessions available. If you have questions contact me anytime on the Facebook, Mehdi Toozhy public figure. Feel free to get in touch if you need counseling. I am available and I can help you reach your goals faster and easier.
A tired student with bloodshot eyes. In the times of my teaching almost every day at lectures did I observe at least one such viewer and by the end of the semester their number grew. This is caused by the loads of homework incompatible with any kind of personal schedule. While it seems that students can always push themselves harder, so much stress combined with sleep deprivation is no joke.
The Magic of Free Writing
After getting another email with homework assignment at 5 AM I realized that I had to address the issue. But how can students strike a balance between a healthy dose of mental exercise and adequate rest? I came across the solution by accident. While doing a separate research on a different matter I stumbled upon material on beneficial effects of writing. Digging deeper into the rich volume of literature the realization came that it was as brilliant as it was plain. Writing is really an adequate way out of this situation. The only difference I had to apply was adding a freedom component to it. Not just an assignment on a restrictive topic that the student can hardly relate to. It had to be somewhat releasing.
To begin with, it is a common knowledge that saying the sentence out loud is much more powerful on a personal scale than just thinking it in your head. This is because we assign responsibility to what we speak. The difference is tremendous. This approach can be applied to writing as well.
Psychological studies have revealed that writing about the aspects of life that stress you lead to improvement in wellbeing. Participants who had been tasked to write on varied topics and at different lengths were later tested for overall health. Surprisingly, those who wrote on topics they cared much about had a considerable physical and mental state improvement. The key aspect to it was writing about something meaningful rather than unimportant.
Some might argue that being overly self-conscious about feelings, especially negative ones is not a good individual tendency. I partly agree, and so I should clarify that writing helps against this problem by capturing our looping thoughts. It grounds them and helps us to gain valuable insights about our true selves.
Writing is a meaningful exercise that connects our spirit and body. A pen acts as our extension. It leaves its mark on paper, reminding about the distinction between our past experiences and the present moment. Expressing yourself and your feelings is a redemptive process that enriches your emotional world.
And so for me there was no backing down. Looking at those eye pouches sadly reminding me of my Mastiff Robby (long deceased) I finally decided to act. At the end of one morning class I broke the usual course of history program with a special assignment that was the first of many to come.
Now, I do realize there are only a few things a student would share with a teacher rather than a close friend. This is why I tasked them to write on anything they’d like, without any limitations. I hoped that writing on personal interests and nothing specific would eventually have led them to spilling their beans and telling about what’s meaningful for them. Sincere to a reasonable extent of course, but enough to produce expressive writing in its original meaning, which was my goal.
I only conditioned them to fill one sheet of paper serving as a meter and watch the grammar obviously. I also specified that the task had to be handwritten. It is a lot more personal with a few convenient benefits along the way. For instance, scribing the letters with your hand instead of typing improves your pattern recognition abilities. I introduced it as going a little beyond taking handwritten notes when working on a history essay.
The Inner Growth with Writing
The closest method of treatment that psychologists relate to this activity is Art Therapy. The patient takes their mind off the stressful matter by giving into the exploration of personal creativity. Reawakening the child in each one of us and tapping onto its energy.
Much similar, my task was meant to reignite the primal desire to write, separating it from the weight of forced assignments. The process can only be achieved naturally with the topic the writer is passionate about.
Creative writing makes you more intelligent, and even history can’t do without it. Extensive research has proven that it develops your mental capacities. In the process you improve your abilities to express yourself and your thoughts more effectively. Your communication skills grow, making you more social. But there is more to communication than just socializing. An individual communicates with itself no less than with others. Our inner voice, our inner self becomes more sound and rational. Therefore we become a lot more sensible in the process of our thinking.
When facing a problem at any moment in your life a high IQ helps you to become more efficient when solving it. By a long shot creative writing helps you to quickly and easily process information. The mind learns to observe our state and feelings. It is essential to the development of a young person. The well constructed sharp pen is the sharp mind. A pointy tool that is far more effective when breaking down the wall of the problem, leaving useless patterns behind and embarking on a journey to positive changes.
And so I’ve tried to encourage my students to write every day. When I could divert from my teaching program I always gave them this task. Of course, there were other subjects to cover for the load of work that I’ve loosened on my end. Here I won’t get into the kind of pieces I got from my students. I’ll just say that many of them have got used to writing about what was compelling for them. Some of their topics I can relate to, some not so much. But the spark of engagement that I saw in my students when I did, the one I’ve noticed from the first day I introduced this task had always remained. It really brought joy to me. And so I kept tasking them to fill one blank page with a belief that I made my small contribution for a better future of our nation.
About the Author:
Steven Arndt is a passionate writer, educator and a former History teacher. He tends to reconsider the role of modern education in our society and watches with awe the freedom the youth now has.